Tag Archives: relationships

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Dark-backed Weaver Friends Are Everywhere You Know

“They’ve been right there in front of us the whole time, waiting for the sun.”

Dark-backed weaver. Photo Derek Keats/Wikipedia

June 5, 2024

Have you ever heard the dark-backed weaver sing? That’s not a book title. They really have the most melodic singing you can hear for miles. It might be Oribi Dad’s favourite bird sound. Maybe because it took us a good long while to identify what bird it was coming out of when we first moved to the farm.

They’re tricky from far, especially in Echo Valley. You think it’s one tune, but when the bird flits closer, it sounds a bit different. It rises and falls, and then ends in this buzzing sort of noise, like a phone vibrating on a table. You also hardly see them in the thick bushes they sing from or if their backs are turned to you. Yet from the front and in the sun, they’re the brightest yellow – rivalling orioles and African emerald cuckoos. Against the dry winter brush, it’s really quite stunning.

Isn’t that so like some people we know? We meet them, masked in their dark brown coats with faces turned away from us. We hear their names but don’t remember. We wonder what others see in them at all. Then, one day, we hear their song and it makes us pay attention. Where is that coming from? We want to know more.

Sometimes, it takes us a while to figure out how this brown-coated interesting figure can produce such a clear and beautiful sound in the first place. Did we hear wrong? No, we think, as we hear that melody ring out a few more times. There’s something there worth discovering.

One day, we might even hear that voice and catch the owner turning to face us, just as the sun hits from over the gorge cliffs to the east. The sparkling yellow seems to light up the whole valley as the song rings loud and captivating from that tiny black beak. What a sight! What a talented package this is. How could we have missed that mesmerising beauty for so long?

It feels like that’s how friends are made sometimes. We see each other, really see each other. And we hear a song we can’t ignore any longer. Then, once we’ve seen and heard it, we suddenly start to see that person’s influence and worth everywhere we look. How could we possibly have missed it before? They’ve been right there in front of us the whole time, waiting for the sun.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: A Nod to the Neighbours

“There’s still room for the good old days of community doing life together out of homes and garages.”

PHOTO BY PIXABAY

January 15, 2023

Isn’t it crazy to think that I’ve been going to the same hairdresser for the last twenty years? I didn’t ever think I’d be old enough to have these kinds of revelations, but here we are.

She cut my hair like Jennifer Aniston when I was fifteen. At thirty-six l have to admit that it’s always been my favourite style and I keep going back to those Hollywood layers.

Neighbourly Relationships Take Time But They’re Worth It

That’s not to say we haven’t had a journey. Like the time she cut my thick hair into a bob and I realized that it was the most irritating style I could ever have chosen. It’s impossible to tie up and hangs down into my face. I also have a curl to the one side at the back that makes a bob untidy whether I’ve brushed or blow-dried it.

Then there was the time that I came home, a new bride wanting a change. Pixie cuts are fun but only if your new husband is onboard with the drastic new look! If not, there may or may not be a few days of tense staring as he grieves the long locks he married. Don’t worry; it grew back and we’re heading towards our fifteenth anniversary.

You Miss The Neighbours When They Aren’t There Anymore

We also moved overseas for a little bit to teach English. Have you ever tried to have a haircut in a fancy-looking salon where not a soul speaks English? Pointing, gestures, nods, and smiles were not quite enough to explain the details of what I needed.

That Korean hairdresser ripped my ends to shreds with a blade and charged me more than I have ever paid for a haircut. It was a long year waiting to get back to my good old neighbourhood hairdresser so that she could fix up the mess. Fifteen minutes is all she needs to work miracles that grow out beautifully and look amazing.

These things remind me how special it is to have people like this in our lives. Neighbours who are hairdressers, coffee sellers, beauticians, travelling nurses, piano teachers, educational toy entrepreneurs, frozen meal chefs, and so much more.

There’s still room for the good old days of community doing life together out of homes and garages. There’s still a good reason to chat to the neighbours over the fence and see how we can help each other. You might even find yourself twenty years down the line appreciating how far you’ve come together.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Keep the Lights On and Call Somebody

“Friends lightheartedly commented in May last year that they hoped to meet my little one before he was walking – too late, he took his first steps last week.”

Our woolly-necked storks are residents or intra-African migrants.

April 8, 2021

The first of those lockdown babies has turned ONE! Did you remember?

A year after our lives were turned upside down by an invisible threat, we are still in isolation and it doesn’t feel normal yet. There are likely people in your circles who have changed jobs, lost livelihoods, recovered from surgeries, and upgraded their smartphones. In a whole year, there are also mothers who fell pregnant, watched their bellies expand, and now have an infant – without seeing anyone.

Can you imagine not one of your mommy friends admiring your bump over tea or meeting your child? That is now normal.

It’s Been a Year of Wondering When Things Will Be Normal Again

I haven’t been to a shop in over a year. Or in-person church.

Friends lightheartedly commented in May last year that they hoped to meet my little one before he was walking – too late, he took his first steps last week. My cute two-year-old is now a tall, rambunctious three-going-on-thirteen, rolling eyes and all. He’s outgrown several clothes sizes in a year and forgotten the names of some friends he played with every week before – a year is third of his whole lifespan!

My pregnant belly is now an 11-month toddler who wants to feed himself. He gets excited about the loud sounds of tractors and vacuum cleaners. He’s never met his extended family, including great-grandparents.

So Much Has Changed and Yet So Much Is Still the Same

Will we be looking back the same way another year from now? I don’t know.

Our garden has undergone another season of growth, as has our marriage. Even the swallows are getting ready to leave again after their six-monthly residence on the farm.

I know that you should check on your friends, even if it’s over WhatsApp. Everyone is not okay. South Africans are tough, but these have been dark days where social lifelines haven’t been forthcoming. We need friends and family, but we have also needed to obey the laws and minimise the spread of a virus.

We recently went through five days without electricity on the farm after a terrible lightning storm, but it was like a welcome reset in many ways. My fridge has never looked so clean as it emptied rapidly and couldn’t be refilled.

There’s some light for 2021, but we might have to enjoy a few candlelit dinners to see it. We don’t need complicated technology or filled calendars to be happy.

We do need connection, though. Relationships are the electricity of a fulfilled life.

What changes have you been through in a year of lockdown? Are there connections you need to restore? Don’t lose hope, you’ve already come through an entire year of life-altering abnormality. Keep the lights on and call somebody.

Published here.