Tag Archives: boys

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: No Wedding Video To Show Our Sons

“If we had invested in a professional videographer that day, we could have shown our sons what their parents, aunties, uncles and other friends looked like.”

The reward of reaching 15 years with three kids and a full memory bank has been worth it so far.

October 1, 2022

Many of you may already know that it sometimes pays to go through your cupboards and boxes. All three boys are transitioning into the next clothing size and I was taking a hands-free 20 minutes to fold laundry and sort things out.

When the piles of clothing were finally back into the right spaces, my eyes fell on a shoebox right at the back of the shelf. Oh yes, Mom brought that over a few months ago and I haven’t had a chance to look in it yet.

As I opened it up, I realised it was a few things from my childhood room; some wedding invitations, a photograph or two; printer’s tray items. How sweet to remember the little ornaments I spent so much time looking at and playing with as a girl. Too delicate to pass on to rough and tumble toddler boys just yet, though.

Look Closer at the Memories for Treasures

As I scanned the items, I saw an envelope with a single name on it in my handwriting. Who is that? Let’s call him Ben.

I only remembered one person by that name – a boy in my primary school. I didn’t remember ever writing him a letter, so I opened it. Three R100 notes fell on the floor! And as I read the note, it became clear.

“Here’s something to say thank you for taking our wedding video. Hope 2008 is a wonderful year for you!”

Oh, that Ben.

The one who offered to film our wedding almost 15 years ago. The friend who never arrived.

Still Frames in the Mind Are Treasured, Too

That’s right, we don’t have a wedding video to remember our very special union at 21 and 23. Those fresh-faced young people in the photographs are captured in still frames only. Their sincere voices and excited celebrations are a distant memory now.

Wedding guests didn’t have smartphones to capture clips of the day. There wasn’t even WhatsApp.

“Car trouble, sorry,” the message said as we were dressing for our long-awaited big day.

We’d dated for six years and were finally old enough to tie the knot. As we stood overlooking the ocean and said our vows, only the guests and gulls bore witness. We signed papers and we beamed at the prospect of what the future might hold for us.

Guests swam between the ceremony and the reception to stave off the oppressive January heat. Speeches and friends’ songs made everybody cry and laugh. And then, we moved on with our lives.

Maybe We’d Do It Differently But Time Doesn’t Rewind – Enjoy the Moments!

Maybe if we had invested in a professional videographer that day, we could have shown our sons what their parents, aunties, uncles and other friends looked like and how they sounded at the start of something beautiful.

Thankfully, we’ve invested more wisely into marriage. Love takes work, but the reward of reaching 15 years with three kids and a full memory bank has been worth it so far.

And, now we have some cash to go on a well-deserved date night one of these days to celebrate. Happy early anniversary to us.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Do What Makes You You

“Parenting three under five is probably not the time of life to be writing books for fun but the opportunities will come if I let them.”

Do all boys love TLBs and other giant machines? PHOTO HEATHER LIND

September 5, 2022

Have you ever heard and then seen a huge swarm of bees approaching as your newborn sleeps on your lap? It’s quite terrifying at first. You wonder whether they are going to come straight at you on the porch or pass by. The sound is incredible, a crescendo out of nowhere … before disappearing as the bees speed off to wherever they are going.

How can you describe that feeling of uncertainty when a thousand stings approaches and you don’t know the outcome? I think it is called exhilaration. Not knowing whether the next moment will be a good one is a physical experience as well as a mental one. It heightens the senses, pumps the adrenaline and gets the muscles ready to do their thing.

Your Body Suddenly Says, “Pay Attention”

It is the same kind of feeling that my almost five year-old gets when he sees a yellow or orange crane arm extended into the skyline. A digger! Will it be huge? Will it have a hook? Will it be operating as we drive past? The excitement is palpable as we drive via the N3 to Pietermaritzburg with all the roadworks in play. Every ten seconds a new shout of ‘excavator’ trumpets from the backseat all the way into town.

I recently had a fresh injection of exhilaration seeing my very first full length book in print. It didn’t matter that it was a ghostwriting project that my name will never be on – those are my words right there in black and white forever. What a feeling!

Why would I write a book for someone else? Perhaps a better question is why would someone hire me to write a book for them when they could do it themselves. The short answer is that some people have ideas they don’t know how to express in the way that does them justice. Writers can do it and do it well for the most part.

Your Mind Says, “Stay Calm and Breathe”

For me it is a job that I can do at home with my three boys in tow. Finding a client who wants to pay me to do what I love for six months to a year is well, worth any sacrifice of fame or prestige. One day when I have the time to churn out all the books that have embedded themselves into my imagination I won’t need a professional ghostwriter. It is still a dream to write my own books for now, though seeing this first one done and dusted makes it feel a lot more achievable. I know it can be done even as I feed my third baby and watch my toddlers wrestle on the grass.

Parenting three under five is probably not the time of life to be writing books for fun but the opportunities will come if I let them. Eyes open for those exhilarating moments of bees, books, and being me.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Febu-Weary Heat and the March of the Ants

“It was war for a while but the farmhouse has mostly been reclaimed.”

The hard-working ant’s diligence ultimately pays off.

 

March 2, 2022

Summer has been an interesting one, but what could we have expected in our currently upside-down world. I know that Proverbs tells us to take note of the hard-working ants and be more like them in our approach to life’s pursuits. But today I was not a happy or passive observer of those little intruders. I think every ant on the farm decided that this was an excellent day to move into the farmhouse.

The lounge, the kitchen, the guest bathroom and anywhere else they could hide their eggs became overrun. It looked like the walls and floors were moving. Millions and millions of red and black ants, marching into every crevice they could access.

It’s a War: Ants vs. Human Farm Dwellers

It was war for a while but the farmhouse has mostly been reclaimed. The spiders are still very much at home, even the sneaky rain spider that has somehow found the only gap under the cupboard. One of the bigger arachnids in the passage ceiling caught a bee today; very impressive.

The swallows in the laundry are also currently raising their second batch for the season, so it will be time to say goodbye soon.

How did it get to February? Febu-weary is what the scorching heat has felt like on a few days but it won’t be long until autumn blows that away.

We are expecting a third addition to our brood. Will it be a second lockdown baby? I would never have imagined that to be a possibility if you had asked me two years ago, when things were different. It’s just as exciting now, though. Like the ants, we will soon be preparing a place for the little one and life marches on.

Febu-Weary For Sure But It’s Just a Season

There was only one word to describe those ants: relentless. Absolutely determined, they were not deterred by vacuums, brooms, or anything else; only singular focus on the purpose at hand. Perhaps, there is a valuable lesson in that after all.

May we be so determined, so enthusiastic to carry out our purpose in life. If it’s raising a family, may we remember to let our lights shine just as brightly as we show our brood how to illuminate theirs in a dark, confusing world.

 

It might also be helpful to remember the ants, no matter our pursuits or the season we find ourselves navigating.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: There Is a Time For Everything Under the Sun

“Now, those ears and noses and toes and curls are growing, and my sons are eating me out of house and home.”

PHOTO BY SANDY MILLAR/UNSPLASH

November 2, 2021

Never had four baby bunnies inadvertently born into a dark corner of your lounge on a Friday morning? Then, you probably haven’t witnessed how quickly little pink bodies transform into the sweetest fluffy rabbits. I think it’s the tiny ears that really get me. Almost as cute as the little noses on my sons when they were new to this world.

Now, those ears and noses and toes and curls are growing. And my sons are eating me out of house and home.

Boys and Bunnies Grow Fast

Boys and bunnies are incessantly exploring every new and wonderful thing they come across in life and here I stand, wondering how it all happened so quickly.

As life marches on, I am struck by how often I feel a sense of urgency. I get into a tailspin, trying to do everything at top speed in the ‘free’ moments of each day so that my home, garden, and family are taken care of between work and obligations. What’s the hurry?

Older, wiser people voice the idea of enjoying this time and appreciating the small moments, so why does it always feel like such a rush? Do I really need to fit in the dishes before bathtime so that my toddler’s milk bottle is clean and ready for the long night of frequent wake-ups?

Will I feel better if I have a cup of coffee on the porch instead of hanging washing, stacking dishes, cleaning up toys, preparing pyjamas, turning down bed covers, and finding fresh towels? I don’t know.

There’s a Time for Everything Even If There Isn’t Time for Everything

There are only a certain number of hours in the day, and I’m a thirty-something working-from-home mother of two. Sometimes, being “organised” is very satisfying as my time runs out.

It’s that Ecclesiastes 3 echo again, a time for everything, a season for every activity under the sun. Maybe, this is my season right now.

A rushed, happy, full-of-love season that’s meant for growth. I’m growing plants, pets, and children. I’m growing in my knowledge of snakes, birds, vegetable gardens, and trees. The country is growing used to pandemic lockdowns (it’s been eighteen months!).

There is a season for everything. But that also means that change could be around the corner. For now, I will watch my boys grow and zoom around cleaning, tidying, cooking, washing, feeding, and witnessing this special time in life. And maybe I’ll try to slow down a little to give these new bunnies an extra cuddle while their ears are so adorable.

I hope your season brings you as much joy; be patient if it doesn’t, nothing lasts forever.

Published here.