Category Archives: Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Hello Darkness My Old … Eish!

“Do you think loadshedding will be a thing when our children’s children are listening to that same nightjar calling, ‘Dear Lord, deliver us’ in the dark?”

Photo for illustration purposes. WIKIPEDIA

October 4, 2022

Did you know that fiery-necked nightjars still call when it’s raining? I hear them as I venture out into the still dark rainy dawn to put on a load of washing. Why am I doing this again? Oh, yes. Loadshedding.

School sandwiches, cups of tea, baby reflux medication and sterile syringes, showers and baths, vacuuming, getting things out of freezers and fridges, cooking, charging things…all confined to random slots in a 24-hour period.

Only, life does not fit so neatly into those times when you have three children and work online from home. It doesn’t fit neatly even if you don’t have children or work from home.

Eishkom Dictates My Life in These Loadshedding Slots

You need electricity to have an internet connection. On the farm, you also need electricity to pump borehole water for household and farm use. Rain tanks help, but not for long. They don’t work either if they rely on a little electric pump for pressure.

It’s okay. We are used to it now, right? We are even grateful that enterprising apps tell us when it is going off and for how long.

But, any length of power outage is still inconvenient. Changing a baby’s nappy at 3am by the light of a cell phone is challenging, to say the least, especially when you’re trying to locate random spots of butternut-colored mess while holding tiny feet out of the way. When you only manage to get one eye open and half a brain awake, the task is almost impossible.

Other Things Manage Just Fine in the Dark, Including…Eish!

The eagle owls manage to come and hunt crickets on our lawn easily enough at that time. The rats run through the roof sounding like a soccer team at certain times of the year. They don’t need light to smell their way through life and find an easy meal of discarded toddler snack items. Thankfully, they didn’t find the half-eaten biltong in the couch I happened upon the other day.

Some time ago I also had a reminder why lighter coloured tiles were, in fact, a good idea. I question this choice occasionally.

I was walking to the kitchen for a baby bottle or something at 1am and stepped over something dark, thanks to my peripheral vision. I thought it was a sock or a broken toy, both common items waiting to pierce tender soles.

Instead, shining my cellphone torch on it revealed a giant black scorpion casually crawling near my bare foot. Close one (and nothing a toddler-sized cup with a lid can’t handle for chucking outside).

Like our schedules, our eyes can adjust to the dark somewhat. But I’m still hoping and praying that we don’t have to make it a permanent arrangement in this country.

Do you think loadshedding will be a thing when our children’s children are listening to that same nightjar calling, ‘Dear Lord, deliver us’ in the dark?

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: No Wedding Video To Show Our Sons

“If we had invested in a professional videographer that day, we could have shown our sons what their parents, aunties, uncles and other friends looked like.”

The reward of reaching 15 years with three kids and a full memory bank has been worth it so far.

October 1, 2022

Many of you may already know that it sometimes pays to go through your cupboards and boxes. All three boys are transitioning into the next clothing size and I was taking a hands-free 20 minutes to fold laundry and sort things out.

When the piles of clothing were finally back into the right spaces, my eyes fell on a shoebox right at the back of the shelf. Oh yes, Mom brought that over a few months ago and I haven’t had a chance to look in it yet.

As I opened it up, I realised it was a few things from my childhood room; some wedding invitations, a photograph or two; printer’s tray items. How sweet to remember the little ornaments I spent so much time looking at and playing with as a girl. Too delicate to pass on to rough and tumble toddler boys just yet, though.

Look Closer at the Memories for Treasures

As I scanned the items, I saw an envelope with a single name on it in my handwriting. Who is that? Let’s call him Ben.

I only remembered one person by that name – a boy in my primary school. I didn’t remember ever writing him a letter, so I opened it. Three R100 notes fell on the floor! And as I read the note, it became clear.

“Here’s something to say thank you for taking our wedding video. Hope 2008 is a wonderful year for you!”

Oh, that Ben.

The one who offered to film our wedding almost 15 years ago. The friend who never arrived.

Still Frames in the Mind Are Treasured, Too

That’s right, we don’t have a wedding video to remember our very special union at 21 and 23. Those fresh-faced young people in the photographs are captured in still frames only. Their sincere voices and excited celebrations are a distant memory now.

Wedding guests didn’t have smartphones to capture clips of the day. There wasn’t even WhatsApp.

“Car trouble, sorry,” the message said as we were dressing for our long-awaited big day.

We’d dated for six years and were finally old enough to tie the knot. As we stood overlooking the ocean and said our vows, only the guests and gulls bore witness. We signed papers and we beamed at the prospect of what the future might hold for us.

Guests swam between the ceremony and the reception to stave off the oppressive January heat. Speeches and friends’ songs made everybody cry and laugh. And then, we moved on with our lives.

Maybe We’d Do It Differently But Time Doesn’t Rewind – Enjoy the Moments!

Maybe if we had invested in a professional videographer that day, we could have shown our sons what their parents, aunties, uncles and other friends looked like and how they sounded at the start of something beautiful.

Thankfully, we’ve invested more wisely into marriage. Love takes work, but the reward of reaching 15 years with three kids and a full memory bank has been worth it so far.

And, now we have some cash to go on a well-deserved date night one of these days to celebrate. Happy early anniversary to us.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Do What Makes You You

“Parenting three under five is probably not the time of life to be writing books for fun but the opportunities will come if I let them.”

Do all boys love TLBs and other giant machines? PHOTO HEATHER LIND

September 5, 2022

Have you ever heard and then seen a huge swarm of bees approaching as your newborn sleeps on your lap? It’s quite terrifying at first. You wonder whether they are going to come straight at you on the porch or pass by. The sound is incredible, a crescendo out of nowhere … before disappearing as the bees speed off to wherever they are going.

How can you describe that feeling of uncertainty when a thousand stings approaches and you don’t know the outcome? I think it is called exhilaration. Not knowing whether the next moment will be a good one is a physical experience as well as a mental one. It heightens the senses, pumps the adrenaline and gets the muscles ready to do their thing.

Your Body Suddenly Says, “Pay Attention”

It is the same kind of feeling that my almost five year-old gets when he sees a yellow or orange crane arm extended into the skyline. A digger! Will it be huge? Will it have a hook? Will it be operating as we drive past? The excitement is palpable as we drive via the N3 to Pietermaritzburg with all the roadworks in play. Every ten seconds a new shout of ‘excavator’ trumpets from the backseat all the way into town.

I recently had a fresh injection of exhilaration seeing my very first full length book in print. It didn’t matter that it was a ghostwriting project that my name will never be on – those are my words right there in black and white forever. What a feeling!

Why would I write a book for someone else? Perhaps a better question is why would someone hire me to write a book for them when they could do it themselves. The short answer is that some people have ideas they don’t know how to express in the way that does them justice. Writers can do it and do it well for the most part.

Your Mind Says, “Stay Calm and Breathe”

For me it is a job that I can do at home with my three boys in tow. Finding a client who wants to pay me to do what I love for six months to a year is well, worth any sacrifice of fame or prestige. One day when I have the time to churn out all the books that have embedded themselves into my imagination I won’t need a professional ghostwriter. It is still a dream to write my own books for now, though seeing this first one done and dusted makes it feel a lot more achievable. I know it can be done even as I feed my third baby and watch my toddlers wrestle on the grass.

Parenting three under five is probably not the time of life to be writing books for fun but the opportunities will come if I let them. Eyes open for those exhilarating moments of bees, books, and being me.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Spring Has Arrived in Oribi Gorge

“As the spring approaches, I hope you have good changes coming your way too.”

Night sky petunias on the porch. PHOTO: HEATHER LIND

 

August 25, 2022The weather has been glorious lately. Cool enough to garden a bit after months of a pregnant belly. Warm enough to go on late afternoon strolls with a baby and two boys on bikes kicking up dust. This spring we will finally have a hectare or two of macadamia saplings in the ground to compete with our growing brood. It is an exciting time interspersed with all the adult responsibilities. It’s also different to how things have looked up until now.

The third week in August was like a switch on the farm. The swallows and yellow-billed kites arrived within a day of each other. The wise are not so quick to declare spring in these parts though. The cold sneaks in every September with wind and rain that’s colder than anything we experience through ‘winter’ on the coastal inland farms.

My garden also gets confused. There are already arums, peaches forming, snake lilies pushing up, and flowers on the coffee tree. There are also captivating paint brush-like flowers and showy blooms starting to pop up everywhere. But my trusty beanie is going to stay ready for the next few weeks. I haven’t swapped out cosy slippers for slops yet. Isn’t it strange that we are so hesitant to change over when the signs are obvious? That’s human nature. We resist the unknown even if positive things may await.

At home now things have changed despite us wanting to hold on to the familiar. Every one of our garden pets has become a meal for a caracal, mongoose, or bird of prey in the last few months. Our lovely bunnies and chickens are all gone but we now have a beautiful new son. Our small farm no longer has the ancient flat crown choked by lantana but we have macadamia trees. We are winning the battle against invasive weeds in those spaces.

Things change like the weather and it seems that waiting out the storms is often worth the sunshine. As the spring approaches, I hope you have good changes coming your way too. We just have to roll with it and wait for the summertime.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Why Did God Create Birds? SO Many Reasons

“There’s always something to see.”

Diedrick’s Cuckoo. One of the masters in distraction.

July 19, 2022
Drongos really are amazing birds. I recently learned that these savvy vocalists are masters of imitation. Their strategy is to ingratiate themselves to the other bird species they like to shadow so that they can steal their food or hunt them while they aren’t looking. They can copy bird calls by the hundreds, and they aren’t the only species that do it. White eyes are exceptionally talented in this discipline.

Distraction 101: Cuckoo vs. Weaver

This spring, I watched a pair of Diedricks cuckoos harassing a flock of weavers. The weavers were trying to build their nests, carefully feeding grass through knots and creating the most intricate shapes. Did you know that you can tell the type of weaver by the shape of its nest?

As the weavers tried to sort out their hierarchy for mating and laying, the sun shimmered off the emerald and white cuckoos with red eyes as they played a game. The one cuckoo called relentlessly and dive-bombed and flitted in and out of the nest area to draw the weavers’ attention. It had them really worked up. The other one waited.

At the opportune moment, it would enter a nest unseen, lay a sneaky egg, and then fly out quickly before the mother returned. Mother weavers raise baby cuckoos, and it is a ridiculous sight. The giant baby cuckoo demands endless food from a mother that is smaller and not at all similar in colour or shape. The cuckoo’s eggs even change colour according to which species they choose to trick into raising their young. It’s truly fascinating.

Want Inspiration? Just Watch the Birds

There is so much to learn from watching nature. Unlike the cuckoo parents who are lazy (or efficient?), the tiny mannikins work tirelessly in a community. They build together and sit on eggs in one big nest. They forage together in twittering bunches that fly here and there, ever vigilant of cunning drongos. My grandmother used to call them frets, and that seems apt as the mannikins jump at their own shadows.

If you want inspiration, a birding day in places like Oribi Gorge is a great choice. But, you may only have to walk a few steps out of your front door to see something awe-inspiring. Haven’t you noticed the extraordinary focus with which swallows build their mud nests in your eaves? Don’t you see the phenomenal agility and stealth of the African harrier hawk? It raids nests in the middle of town, with spindly yellow legs and light grey feathers a sparrow’s nightmare.

Look around. There’s always something to see.

Published here.

Oribi Mom, Travelinds

Oribi Mom: Clicking My Heels Because There’s No Place Like Home

“What a blessing to be right here.”

July 9, 2022

So, we had our first parent’s meeting the other day. It was just before school. My one-year-old came with us and played on the mat. We sat down and listened to how our sweet four-year-old is navigating RR. But all that my brain managed to process in those first few minutes was, “How did I get here?”

From the Classroom to an Exotic Beach

I had this flashback to lying on a slightly scratchy bamboo lounger reading a faded old novel I’d found at the reception desk that morning. The cobalt and turquoise sea was just ten metres in front of us. It was gorgeous in the sunlight, despite a few clouds left over from a recent cyclone that had passed through the central Philippines. We had endured a few days of rain with more sleep, more reading, and a cheap massage or two. Now, we were back in the sun and waiting for the tide to come in a bit so we could get to the reef.

It was quite sharp and rocky near the shore, but once you got deeper, the reef stretched for several kilometres in either direction. If you were lucky, one or two lazy hours with a snorkel and a rash vest brought endless colours; parrot fish, octopus, banded sea kraits, zebra fish, peacock shrimps and so much more. If you were really lucky, there would be a few green turtles or leatherbacks swimming by, close enough to follow but never slow enough to touch. Amazing!

But, here I was sitting on a yellow plastic chair as my son’s teacher spoke about our little boy. I’m almost a mom of three! We have lived in one place for almost five years, a record for us both. We undertook a quest in the Bornean jungle to find some of the last wild Pygmy elephants – and found them after five days! Now, I was watching my toddler happily dumping out every toy container he could find in his brother’s classroom, right before school.

There’s no place like home

How did we get here indeed. Life doesn’t stop for soaked-to-the-bone speedboat rides from Malaysia into Thailand. It only lets you remember all the fantastic things you’ve seen along the way. Maybe it was the sun rays on the wall that suddenly drew me back to our adventures.

As I listened to how much my boy has grown and learned, I had another thought. “What a blessing to be right here!” This is home now, with two tiny boys starting their own adventures alongside us. I could never have imagined how things would turn out while I searched the tree tops for that one wild orangutan we found, but I’m so glad that we kept going. It’s a new day, and I’m happy to be living in it.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Escaping the Black Death To Die Another Day

Oribi Mom: Escaping the Black Death To Die Another Day

Black Mamba found in chicken coop.

PHOTO BY PIXABAY

June 28, 2022

Well, it has happened. After five years of peace, we are now in the club of locals who have had a close encounter with a big black mamba. It was in our chicken coop this afternoon, and we didn’t see it.

The two-year-old and four-year-old asked to feed the chickens as they do each day. Their dad gave them each a cup of feed to put into the bowl. The bigger one was behind his brother and happened to look up as they walked to the entrance. Thankfully, he saw a large snake curled up in the corner of the enclosure and held his little brother back without thinking about why.

He called his dad with a casual “Snake, Dad.” Dad walked to the cage to have a look, but instead of seeing the usual Herald, egg eater or green snakes that are often around, he saw a very large, still relaxed black mamba! It’s like looking death right in the face and wondering whether you’ve stepped too close to change your mind.

He scooped up our tiny boys and ran to deposit them safely into my care. He went back to handle things with a fast-responding neighbour and too much adrenaline. I stripped my sons down to their undies to check for marks, a mother’s worst nightmare to be sure. They protested loudly but seemed intact and free of death-inducing puncture marks.

All they needed was a hug, a wet wipe bath, and some juice and popcorn chips to calm down from their big fright. Fortunately but terrifyingly, the snake was gone when dad went back to look for it. Hopefully, it is somewhere far, far away.

Where Was the Black Mamba Before This?

Earlier that morning I had taken a long walk around the farm. In five kilometres, I had seen a handful of colourful birds, a tractor, and a lizard. Was the mamba near my gate the whole time? Probably.

At 29 weeks pregnant, I could probably still run faster than I ever have before if I saw that thing next to me. The experts say that even big snakes like this specimen have a first instinct to get away. But, my two little boys were directly in front of its easiest escape route, well within the recommended five-metre distance you should be away from any mamba you happen to see in the wild.

God’s angels live here, too. So, we are alive for another day in Oribi Gorge. And, very grateful.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: 24 Things I Survived in 24 Months of Lockdown

Two years in lockdown included a male boomslang in the laundry that was not happy hiding in a watering can.

The male boomslang in Oribi Mom’s watering can. PHOTO BY HEATHER LIND

May 27, 2022

Has it really been that long? Here are 24 things I’ve come through as I find myself standing in 2022 and feeling grateful to be alive.

#1 Giving birth after standing at the emergency entrance answering COVID questions between contractions.

#2 Renovations – so that we didn’t have four people sleeping in one room anymore.

#3 Sending my child to play school for the first time and hoping it wouldn’t mean bringing COVID home.

#5 A riot that sent us into extra lockdown, food rations, night watch, and prayer.

#6 350mm of rain in one week that destroyed roads, cancelled school, and sent giant boulders sliding down into the gorge roads.

#7 A male boomslang in the laundry that was not happy hiding in a watering can.

#8 Two years of cancelled birthday parties.

#9 Several lengthy power failures, including one recent stretch of EIGHT days with two sick children (on the farm, no electricity also means no water).

#10 Two years of missed church services, Sunday School, and face-to-face conversations with our community.

#11 Another pregnancy, but also having to choose a new OB/GYN as my beloved stalwart retired!

#12 A Christmas and New Year’s disaster where a certain virus I am tired of naming scattered the family back into isolation.

#13 At least 20 months without a haircut from a professional.

#14 More than 24 months of missed Mom’s Group teas that used to be a weekly time to catch up and let the children play with friends.

#15 Losing at least one freelance client due to the pandemic, which forced their company to shut down.

#16 Postponing holiday bookings for a third year running.

#17 Two years of masks, sprays, wipes, looks of suspicion, and a widespread fear of coughs and sneezes.

#18 Two years wondering how long coffee-stained teeth and a lost filling can go without dental work.

#19 Four remaining chickens and three bunnies still managing to eat pumpkins flowers, chew welcome mats, poo on the porch, and scratch out flower seedlings whenever they have the chance.

#20 Yet another season of relentless lantana, bugweed, blackjacks, and burrs.

#21 Finally deactivating Facebook, deleting Twitter, and cleaning up diminishing Gmail storage.

#22 Losing three grandparents and friends, and saying goodbye behind a screen.

#23 Two years without weddings, dates, parties, public events, theatre, international travel, movies, or Saturday night braais with friends.

#24 Over two years without a Zest lolly. Only kidding, we would never have survived that! In fact, those sweet frozen treats might be the top reason we moved to the South Coast!

Two Years and the Tide Is Turning

It’s only been 24 months. We can carry on surviving if we need to, but it does feel like there might be a change in the air. There is always hope.

Published here.
Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: Febu-Weary Heat and the March of the Ants

“It was war for a while but the farmhouse has mostly been reclaimed.”

The hard-working ant’s diligence ultimately pays off.

 

March 2, 2022

Summer has been an interesting one, but what could we have expected in our currently upside-down world. I know that Proverbs tells us to take note of the hard-working ants and be more like them in our approach to life’s pursuits. But today I was not a happy or passive observer of those little intruders. I think every ant on the farm decided that this was an excellent day to move into the farmhouse.

The lounge, the kitchen, the guest bathroom and anywhere else they could hide their eggs became overrun. It looked like the walls and floors were moving. Millions and millions of red and black ants, marching into every crevice they could access.

It’s a War: Ants vs. Human Farm Dwellers

It was war for a while but the farmhouse has mostly been reclaimed. The spiders are still very much at home, even the sneaky rain spider that has somehow found the only gap under the cupboard. One of the bigger arachnids in the passage ceiling caught a bee today; very impressive.

The swallows in the laundry are also currently raising their second batch for the season, so it will be time to say goodbye soon.

How did it get to February? Febu-weary is what the scorching heat has felt like on a few days but it won’t be long until autumn blows that away.

We are expecting a third addition to our brood. Will it be a second lockdown baby? I would never have imagined that to be a possibility if you had asked me two years ago, when things were different. It’s just as exciting now, though. Like the ants, we will soon be preparing a place for the little one and life marches on.

Febu-Weary For Sure But It’s Just a Season

There was only one word to describe those ants: relentless. Absolutely determined, they were not deterred by vacuums, brooms, or anything else; only singular focus on the purpose at hand. Perhaps, there is a valuable lesson in that after all.

May we be so determined, so enthusiastic to carry out our purpose in life. If it’s raising a family, may we remember to let our lights shine just as brightly as we show our brood how to illuminate theirs in a dark, confusing world.

 

It might also be helpful to remember the ants, no matter our pursuits or the season we find ourselves navigating.

Published here.

Oribi Mom

Oribi Mom: There Is a Time For Everything Under the Sun

“Now, those ears and noses and toes and curls are growing, and my sons are eating me out of house and home.”

PHOTO BY SANDY MILLAR/UNSPLASH

November 2, 2021

Never had four baby bunnies inadvertently born into a dark corner of your lounge on a Friday morning? Then, you probably haven’t witnessed how quickly little pink bodies transform into the sweetest fluffy rabbits. I think it’s the tiny ears that really get me. Almost as cute as the little noses on my sons when they were new to this world.

Now, those ears and noses and toes and curls are growing. And my sons are eating me out of house and home.

Boys and Bunnies Grow Fast

Boys and bunnies are incessantly exploring every new and wonderful thing they come across in life and here I stand, wondering how it all happened so quickly.

As life marches on, I am struck by how often I feel a sense of urgency. I get into a tailspin, trying to do everything at top speed in the ‘free’ moments of each day so that my home, garden, and family are taken care of between work and obligations. What’s the hurry?

Older, wiser people voice the idea of enjoying this time and appreciating the small moments, so why does it always feel like such a rush? Do I really need to fit in the dishes before bathtime so that my toddler’s milk bottle is clean and ready for the long night of frequent wake-ups?

Will I feel better if I have a cup of coffee on the porch instead of hanging washing, stacking dishes, cleaning up toys, preparing pyjamas, turning down bed covers, and finding fresh towels? I don’t know.

There’s a Time for Everything Even If There Isn’t Time for Everything

There are only a certain number of hours in the day, and I’m a thirty-something working-from-home mother of two. Sometimes, being “organised” is very satisfying as my time runs out.

It’s that Ecclesiastes 3 echo again, a time for everything, a season for every activity under the sun. Maybe, this is my season right now.

A rushed, happy, full-of-love season that’s meant for growth. I’m growing plants, pets, and children. I’m growing in my knowledge of snakes, birds, vegetable gardens, and trees. The country is growing used to pandemic lockdowns (it’s been eighteen months!).

There is a season for everything. But that also means that change could be around the corner. For now, I will watch my boys grow and zoom around cleaning, tidying, cooking, washing, feeding, and witnessing this special time in life. And maybe I’ll try to slow down a little to give these new bunnies an extra cuddle while their ears are so adorable.

I hope your season brings you as much joy; be patient if it doesn’t, nothing lasts forever.

Published here.